As a well-respected demi-god, son of Jupiter and whatever my mother’s name is, I am obligated to first inform you of how very not well-respected I am by humans (and sometimes animals) and how easily I yelp in pain when my scrotum is hit by a woman at a bar, a woman in an alley screaming, “Please stop touching me or I’ll hurt you,” (pfft, woman aren’t real people), or a transvestite doing one of the aforementioned things. As we’re having this delightful conversation, you’re probably thinking, “Wow. This guy must suck at pulling anything into his pants,” at which point I’d have to tell you that you’d be wrong. Dead wrong. So dead wrong, you wouldn’t even know that I pulled dead things to give me fellatio had you not provoked it. Yes, this is your fault. You wanted to inquire about how empty my sex life is and SURPRISE!
Moving on to more other non-disgusting things: I hate you. Nah, let me rephrase: I really, really, really hate you. (1)”Why MS? Why do you hate me so much? We barely know each other!” / (2)”I FUCKING HATE YOU TOO ASSHOLE.”
(1) Because I’m a shy person and you were supposed to create conversation with me, to which I befriend you by berating you. Ahh. Classic comradery. (<- FB squiggly lines this because it also hates you and hate the idea of friendships and also hates real words.) Also, if we got to know each other, you’d end up spewing a line of opinion that would irk me to abrupt your opinion with how stupid you are for not having classic left-wing morals. So there. You’d hate me at the end. =D
(2) Hey, I like you already. Let’s get together, make some ramen, and waste our lives away trolling WoW, telling other people who barely bought the game how ridiculously noob-y they are.
In conclusion, if you laughed at this, you have a really, really low standard of humor to which I shadowed over it, strangled it with the tail of a mouse, and then made love to it’s dead body. If you managed to laugh out loud, after I made love to your humor, I stabbed it in the neck, tossed the body into a swamp and watch as ducks try to rape every hole your humor had (presumably it was a female rather than a tranny), and roast it and eat it (because Asian stereotypes will never go away).
I applaud you if you didn’t laugh. Because this isn’t funny. It may contain shock value, but no hilarity. So congratulations. You win a metaphorical cookie that I made with the flesh of others’ humor.
Moving on to more other non-disgusting things: I hate you. Nah, let me rephrase: I really, really, really hate you. (1)”Why MS? Why do you hate me so much? We barely know each other!” / (2)”I FUCKING HATE YOU TOO ASSHOLE.”
(1) Because I’m a shy person and you were supposed to create conversation with me, to which I befriend you by berating you. Ahh. Classic comradery. (<- FB squiggly lines this because it also hates you and hate the idea of friendships and also hates real words.) Also, if we got to know each other, you’d end up spewing a line of opinion that would irk me to abrupt your opinion with how stupid you are for not having classic left-wing morals. So there. You’d hate me at the end. =D
(2) Hey, I like you already. Let’s get together, make some ramen, and waste our lives away trolling WoW, telling other people who barely bought the game how ridiculously noob-y they are.
In conclusion, if you laughed at this, you have a really, really low standard of humor to which I shadowed over it, strangled it with the tail of a mouse, and then made love to it’s dead body. If you managed to laugh out loud, after I made love to your humor, I stabbed it in the neck, tossed the body into a swamp and watch as ducks try to rape every hole your humor had (presumably it was a female rather than a tranny), and roast it and eat it (because Asian stereotypes will never go away).
I applaud you if you didn’t laugh. Because this isn’t funny. It may contain shock value, but no hilarity. So congratulations. You win a metaphorical cookie that I made with the flesh of others’ humor.
fuck you too man
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